Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem Monday, 12 Safar, 1436 AH
Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barkaatuhu brothers and sisters in Islam. Indeed, we praise and give thanks to the Almighty, the All-Wise, who created us and blessed us with Islam. We pray that He, subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa continue to keep us on this beauty, Islam and continue to shower us with His gift, guidance. Aameen. May Allah’s mercy and blessings be showered upon our beloved Prophet Muhammad, his household and his companions. Aameen.
In Surat al-Furqan, the Criterion, Chapter 25 ayah 74, Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa tells us about one of the characteristics of those who will attain His ‘ridwaan’ ‘pleasure’ saying;
‘And those who say, "Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfort (coolness) to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous."
Indeed, for every religious young man or woman, what will be cooler to the eyes than to have a religious spouse who strives not to go against the rule of Allah azza wa jal and His rasuul in his or her daily life? What will be cooler for a religious father or mother than to have a child of likewise manner? The answer is clear. May Allah azza wa jal bless us with this coolness. Aameen.
So those of us Muslim men and women who aren’t married yet should make this a constant du’a because indeed, it is most important. Those who are married already should make this du’a constantly because ‘Allah is a turner of hearts’ and if their spouses or children are not as they desire them to be in terms of their religious inclination, Allah, al-Qadir, is able to turn them over to His side. We must also know that the possibility of us turning bad even if we are good is also there. May Allah azza wa jal forbid though. Aameen.
Allah azza wa jal also says in Surah At-Tahreem, the Prohibition, Chapter 66 ayah 6 that;
‘O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are appointed Angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.’
Now, this ayah should always set our minds thinking just like all the others. Allah azza wa jal is giving us a pre-warning of how it is going to be like with the Hellfire and He tells us to save ‘ourselves’ and then ‘our families’ from this danger. The question then is;
‘How do we save ourselves and our families from this fire with this kind of fuel?’
Admonishing ourselves towards that which is right and forbidding one another from evil; and that has never been easy. Even with ourselves, we realize we are in a constant state of struggle with our stubborn ‘nafs’ ‘self-desire’ against the pleasure of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa. So whiles we deal with ourselves, we try to pull others along this beautiful and wise path with the hope of satisfying the requirement of this ayah and others like it and that definitely has not been an easy thing for an uncountable number of people.
I know a man who wanted to marry just the best of women (well, according to his standards of measuring best, that is) and he said that; that was because he wanted to be among the men who will have a family of high standing on the Day we should all be working towards – Al-Yawmut-Tagaabun, the Day of Mutual Loss and Gain.
So, what I want to concentrate on is; the woman and her womb. Even though the choice of husband or wife a woman or man makes goes a long way to determine the result of the fruit of the womb, I would like to put that aside. As I always say and it is really so, I am more inclined to the sisters than to the brothers.
I would however want to chip in here that a man also has great interests when it comes to the fruits of the womb. A religious man especially cares a lot about the kind of children that his wife gives birth to and what they grow into. Such men make it their business to ensure that at least they have done their best in contributing to the goodness of their children even before they choose their wives, even before their wives conceive, during their wives’ pregnancy, during the birth of their children, as their children grow and even in the adult life of these children. They contribute along the way until they finally reach their end or their children reach their end. May Allah azza wa jal make all of our Muslim men like that. Aameen.
When I fell in Love with Maryam
I am sitting in the Masjid with my personal ‘Muallimah’ ‘Muslim Female Teacher’ who is teaching me tajweed of the Qur’an. Then she tells me that I should make the recitation of Surat Maryam, Chapter 19 of the Qur’an, a habit. I can’t recall the exact reason she gave me for that. I had just completed Senior High School then. From then, I became very attached to this Surah especially the part that spoke about the mother of Prophet Issah, Maryam, alayhimas salaam.
The Maryam character amazed me. Even then, I tried to put myself in her shoes and I realized how tough the situation of her pregnancy without a male factor could have been. Yet, Allah azza wa jal took care of the situation with perfection for indeed, perfection belongs to Him only.
Somewhere in Surat al-‘Imraan, we are told how the mother of Maryam, alayhas salaam had dedicated her to the service of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa whiles she was still in the womb. He, azza wa jal, says;
‘When the wife of 'Imraan said, "My Lord, indeed I have pledged to You what is in my womb, consecrated [for Your service], so accept this from me. Indeed, You are the Hearing, the Knowing.’
(Surat Al-‘Imraan, the Family of ‘Imraan, Chapter 3 ayah 35)
The Conversation with One of My Mentors
I am chatting with one of my mentors as usual on phone and she tells me that whiles unmarried, I should pray for the purity of the womb; that Allah azza wa jal cleanses my womb and places into it the best of His creations.
The truth is, I had always believed in praying for just about everything; things that have passed, present and future happenings. Praying for the right husband or wife at the right time and the ‘right’ children is part of these future happenings for every unmarried person.
What my mentor did to my mind however was that she re-awakened and rekindled the passion in me to pay a lot more attention to the ‘fruits of the womb.’ Whenever I see how some parents, especially the parents of the 21st Century children, struggle with their children, I get extremely worried. I keep imagining how much discomfort or do I say ‘hotness’ I would feel if ever I am tried with such a child or children.
Facts about Life
1. You must know as a Muslim that Allah azza wa jal chooses to grant children to whomever He wills. Do not put yourself in the situation of one who thinks he or she must have a child by all means. Some give birth to a lot of children, some do not give birth at all, some give birth to one, some give birth early and some late, and the examples abound. So, even as you pray for the ‘fruits of the womb’ and its ‘nature,’ you should also bear in mind these realities.
2. You could work hard by being careful to choose a righteous spouse, pray hard for a religious child and then Allah azza wa jal in His infinite knowledge and wisdom decides to test you with exactly the opposite; ‘a notoriously rebellious’ child who only want to do that which you are totally against. That is definitely ‘hot’ to the eyes and heart but then we must know that after trying our best, this ‘heat’ then becomes our tests (most tests aren’t pleasant, we should know).
The Efforts We Make for a Righteous ‘Fruit’
So, we only make efforts whiles we fully ‘hope’ that Allah azza wa jal is going to crown our efforts with that which we desire of Him and ‘fearing’ also that He, subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa, could test us with the opposite of that which we desire. So in this matter of ours, we dangle between ‘fear’ and ‘hope’ of whatever Allah azza wa jal could decide to do with us with the full belief that whatever He does is good.
1. Being Righteous Yourself
The first thing you should do in your efforts to get a righteous fruit of the womb is to work at being righteous yourself. You strive to do that which Allah azza wa jal loves and stay clear off that which He despises as much as possible. Allah, jalla jalaaluhu, says;
‘Women impure are for men impure and men impure are for women impure; and women of purity are for men of purity and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness and a provision honourable.’
And this is only fair even though sometimes good women are tested with bad husbands such as the case of Asiya bint Muzahim, alayhas salaam and Fir’aun and good men are tested with bad wives such as the case of Prophet Nuhu and Prophet Lut, alayhimas salaam, and their wives.
2. Making Du’a
We all know the power of du’a. If you don’t, then you need to read about it and incline yourself to du’a. As it is said; ‘Du’a is the weapon of the believer.’ Whatever you need, want, fear, etc, tell it to Allah azza wa jal and He will definitely take care of it for you. He will take the difficulty out of your burden. To that I am a witness many times. Smile to Jannah!
3. Choosing a Righteous Spouse
And we hope and pray that as we strive for righteousness, Allah azza wa jal will connect us with likewise people as the ayah stated above says;
‘Pure women are for pure men’
A righteous spouse complements ones effort in everything as married couples whether with or without children. There is therefore a problem when one of the couple has no interest in the pleasure of Allah. He or she then does not care what the child grows into.
4. Making Du’a during Pregnancy
And du’a runs through our whole life, married or not. Yet, we cannot afford to not make the du’a for the fruit of the womb specific. So, my mother will always make du’a for me, the man I marry and our children and that was exactly what my mentor taught me with passion to do as well. Every good mother does the same. We see in the story of the birth of Maryam alayhas salaam an example of a mother who was eager for a righteous child and a righteous generation as well.
When she conceived Maryam alayhas salaam, as we read in ayah 35 of surat Al-‘Imraan, she dedicated her to the service of Allah azza wa jal even before she entered this Dunya. This is something that mothers, fathers, and yet to be mothers and fathers must learn to do. It is part of doing one’s part to ensure that the child grows up righteously, ceteris paribus (all things being equal).
5. And Forever
The moment the child drops from the womb, the real work begins. The mother of Maryam alayhas salaam, seeing that her child was not male as she expected, she still made an extremely powerful du’a that we must all learn to do for our children, all children. Allah azza wa jal tells us in ayah 36 of Surat Al-‘Imraan that;
‘But when she delivered her, she said, "My Lord, I have delivered a female." And Allah was most knowing of what she delivered, "And the male is not like the female. And I have named her Mary, and I seek refuge for her in You and [for] her descendants from Satan, the expelled [from the mercy of Allah].’
Now, this du’a is definitely powerful. How lucky any child will be to have a mother such as Hannat, the mother of Maryam! May Allah azza wa jal make all of our mothers and yet to be mothers like this amazing woman. Aameen. Allah azza wa jal Who is the Hearer of every caller and the Answerer of all of our du’a tells us about His acceptance of her du’a in the next ayah, 37, saying;
‘So her Lord accepted her with good acceptance and caused her to grow in a good manner and put her in the care of Zechariah. Every time Zechariah entered upon her in the prayer chamber, he found with her provision. He said, "O Mary, from where is this [coming] to you?" She said, "It is from Allah. Indeed, Allah provides for whom He wills without account.’
And we all know the story of the purity, chastity and spirituality of Maryam alayhas salaam and Allah azza wa jal did bless her generation with a Prophet, Issah, alayhis salaam. Subhaanallaahi Robbil ‘Arshil ‘Azeem! Glorified is Allah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne! Alhamdulillaah for the blessing of Islam!
So du’a and the struggle to lead children unto the path of righteousness continues even after their birth until either we the parents leave this Dunya or the children leave.
The Reality I was Reminded
A man who is a da’ee (a caller unto the path of Allah) says and I quote in my words;
‘It is when you finally have a child that you begin to see the weight of responsibility as you fear for the manner in which your child will grow because the child could go either way no matter how hard you try.’
He gave a story of a man who was very learned and who taught them tafseer (commentary) of the Qur’an when they were young. The man had a notorious son who did just about everything that the man spoke against. He said that the man always looked so disturbed because of his son and whenever he remembers the man, he fears for himself and his children.
That is something we must keep pondering on and praying against because definitely, it would not be a pleasant test and though some people will not mind the outcome of the religiosity of their children, those who want to save themselves and their ‘children’ from the fire whose fuel is men and stones do care. May Allah azza wa jal change the situation of all those who are in such a case. Aameen. And with certainty, He is able to do that and more.
Another Reality that Hurts
So, we are discussing about the awesomeness of the sahaaba (the companions of rasuul), how they dedicated their every second to the work of Allah azza wa jal seeking His pleasure solely.
That was when the issue of parenting came in and one brother said he heard a scholar say, and I quote in my words;
‘What every woman of recent times must know is that she could give birth to a ‘waliy’ ‘friend’ of Allah or other great people both on the religious and secular front and she could also give birth to the worse of people but she could never give birth to a Prophet or men or women like the sahaaba.’
And indeed, this is a reality every woman, no matter how high she is aiming in the righteousness of her family should know, belief and understand. May Allah jalla jalaaluhu bless our wombs with the best of His creations and transform those of our children who have gone wayward back to the straight path. May Allah azza wa jal count us among the few of the latter years who will be among the Forerunners as He describes in Surat Al-Waqi’ah. Aameen.
Jazaakumullaahu khair always!
www.mmahajia.blogspot.com for my articles
www.rubabawords.blogspot.com for my poetry
Rubaba Elhaam Mmahajiia-Rahma Sabtiu-Morla
(Connect with me on facebook; especially sisters)